yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize