I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
