Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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