you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
