she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
