Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
