so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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