Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
