Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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