He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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