I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
