i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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