is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
This is the prime rib incident all over again
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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