i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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