you guys were way drunker than both of me
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
