dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize