I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
