don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
