P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
