he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
