New low: just hacked my moms facebook
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
