he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
