if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
