Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
