where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We have so much sex to catch up on
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
