my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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