i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
