So drunk its hurt
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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