Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
