Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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