Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
