This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
