guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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