okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
