Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
