i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
