My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
