So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
