jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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