yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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