I wish I only lived at night.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
