Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
