You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
