Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
