I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
