I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Houston, we have a blender
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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