The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
