hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
