i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
