This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
