are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
