that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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