So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
