I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
