We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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