That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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