I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
