He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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