So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
