I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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