I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
